This has to be the most energic Q&A that I have ever done. You can just feel the energy and the passion that Bella Bassey has when it comes to Identity Coaching. When I saw her profile on LinkedIn I became so curious and asked for an interview…and she said yes. Now, it’s time to feel the energy. Here is the Q&A:
Sibusiso Nkosi: Please tell us what Identity Coaching is and what its purpose is?
Bella Bassey: Identity Coaching isn’t about a new label or faking confidence until you make it. Nope. It’s about peeling back the layers of who you think you are (achievements, societal expectations, past traumas, and people-pleasing tendencies) and uncovering who you actually are: your core values, purpose, and authentic self.
Would it surprise you to know that a lot of people including high achievers, are yet to meet their real self? In Deloitte’s 2025 survey, 89% of Gen Z and 92% of millennials said “meaning” at work is crucial, yet many feel misaligned with their jobs, suggesting a disconnect between their roles and true selves.
Purpose? To help you:
- Stop living by default (aka other people’s rules) and start living by design.
- Rewrite the stories you’ve been telling yourself (like “I’m not good enough” or “I don’t belong”).
- Align your actions with your true identity so you don’t need willpower: you simply are that person.
- Experience freedom from shame, self-doubt, and performance-based worth.
Think of it as mental Marie Kondo, but instead of decluttering your closet, you’re decluttering your soul.
Sibusiso Nkosi: How did you discover Identity Coaching?
Bella Bassey: Great question! I always knew there was more, so I kept asking questions and seeking out answers. I was exhausted from:
- Chasing external validation (grades, jobs, relationships, likes… sound familiar?).
- Feeling like an impostor in my own life (why do I have it all but still feel empty?).
- Burning out because I was trying hard to measure up to someone else’s definition of success.
Then I found Cindy Trimm’s work, met my Coach, Dr. Cordelia Etuk, and realized: Ohhh, I’ve been wrestling with my identity like Jacob, trying to earn a blessing I already had. That’s when it clicked: Identity isn’t what you do, it’s who you are. And coaching helps you own that.
Sibusiso Nkosi: Who would you say are the perfect candidates for Identity coaching? Is it profession based or anyone should consider it?
Bella Bassey: Short answer? Anyone breathing. But let’s break it down:
A. The “Lost High Achiever”
You’re killing it on paper but feel hollow inside. You’ve been climbing the ladder, only to realize it’s leaning against the wrong wall.
B. The “People-Pleaser”
Your identity is tied to making others happy. You don’t even know what you want anymore.
C. The “Career Chameleon”
You’ve defined yourself by your job title (“I’m a lawyer/doctor/entrepreneur”) but feel trapped. You’re realizing: Wait… am I more than my résumé?
D. The “Spiritual Seeker”
You’ve tried religion, self-help, therapy… but still feel disconnected from your true self. You crave a deeper, unshakable sense of purpose.
E. The “Rebuilder”
Divorce, job loss, or a major life shift shattered your old identity. Now you’re like, Who am I without this Bottom line: If you’ve ever asked, “Who am I, really?”, this is for you.
Sibusiso Nkosi: What do you love most about Identity Coaching?
Bella Bassey: Ohhh, let me count the ways:
A. It’s LIBERATING
No more “I’ll be happy when…”. You learn to live from wholeness, not for it.
B. It’s FUTURE-FOCUSED
Instead of obsessing over your past, you design who you want to become.
C. It’s STORY-DRIVEN
You get to rewrite your narrative: from “I’m broken” to “I’m becoming”
D. It’s SPIRITUAL
Whether you’re Christian (like Cindy Trimm) or just spiritually curious, it helps you connect to something bigger.
E. It’s PRACTICAL
No fluffy “just love yourself” advice. You get real tools (like values exercises, role sorting, and identity statements)
Sibusiso Nkosi: What are the common misconceptions about Identity Coaching?
Bella Bassey: Let’s bust some myths, shall we?
Myth 1: “It’s Just Expensive Therapy”
Nope. Therapy often focuses on healing the past. Identity Coaching focuses on creating your future.
Myth 2: “It’s Only for People with ‘Big Problems’”
Wrong. Even high-functioning people benefit (ever met a CEO who’s miserable?).
Myth 3: “It’s Selfish”
Knowing yourself is the most selfless thing you can do. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Surrounded by thousands of young people about to step into the real world without the faintest clue as to how to begin and stay true to who they originally are, I need to be well-equipped.
Myth 4: “It’s About Positive Affirmations”
Affirmations are cute, but if you don’t believe them, they’re useless. Identity work changes your core beliefs. These youngsters will continue to behave the way they have always done, the ones before them, and the ones coming after because how they behave and their attitude towards life is rooted deep in what they have been made to believe.
Myth 5: “It’s a Quick Fix”
Nah, this is deep work. But the rewards? Life-changing.
Final Thought: Your Identity Is Your Superpower
You weren’t meant to live small, stuck, or scared. You were meant to thrive; not by becoming someone else, but by remembering who you’ve always been.
So, maybe it’s time to stop searching and start becoming.
Identity work is better together.
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